Revenge of the Fly
authored by: amanda_megami23
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor/AU (Alternate Universe)
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ; I don't even own this computer I'm sitting at!!
A/N: This is my first fic, so don't get angry if you don't like it (angry people makes me sad)! And yes, I do know some of them are OOC, but that's because I'm a WEIRDO!!!
Chapter 02
“Bzzzz! Bzzzzz-bzzz, bzzzzzzzzzz!”
“So what’s the big deal, you? Vegeta mocked you and almost killed you, and now you want revenge. What da hell’s that got to do with me?!” Shenron asked confused.
The fly tried desperately to explain to the great dragon what he meant. The fly had earlier used his first wish to heal himself. He was now telling Shenron about his second wish.
“Oh! Now I seem to get on da right track! Yeah, man, I can understand what you’re saying,” Shenron continued. “But what I don’t understand is what Dawson saw in Joey.”
The fly smacked himself. How could a dragon this powerful be so stupid? He had been trying to explain him for two hours now what his second wish would be, and even though he had explained it 10.782.827.492.374.395.083.987.234 and a half times, Shenron hadn't understood a thing.
Well, the fly thought to himself. Now that he had been explaining it 10.782.827.492.374.395.083.987.234 and a half times, one last time shouldn't be such an effort.
“Bzz... bzzz... bzzzz... bzz!” the fly repeated slowly so Shenron could catch up.
“Oh, so we’re not talking ‘bout Dawson’s Creek?” Shenron asked confused.
The fly shook his head and flew to the dragon’s ear to whisper his plan.
“What?! Never! I do not like that wish, bro, so I’m not going to grand it! Besides, I wouldn’t do such a thing to those people. Without them, I’ll get jobless!”
“Bzzzzzzzz!” the fly buzzed angrily.
“No!” Shenron turned his back to the little black creature.
“Yezzzzzz.”
“No!”
“Yezzzzzz!”
“No, I’m telling ya!”
“Bzzzzz! Bzz, bzzz-bzzzzzz bzz!” the fly buzzed.
Shenron quickly turned around to face him. “Hey, man. Leave my mother out of this!”
“Bzzzzzzzzz!”
“What, you’re saying that if I grand your wish you’ll make sure I’ll get hired in a movie and get the leading part?” Shenron asked interested. The fly nodded.
“No.” Shenron stuck his tongue out. The fly buzzed furiously and threatened Shenron.
“All right, all right! I’ll grand your stupid wish.”
“Yezzzzzz!” the fly buzzed happily.
Shenron sighed.
He'd better be paid in cash...
***
“Yes, you are!” Bulma yelled.
“No, I’m not!” Vegeta yelled back.
“Are too!”
“Are not!”
“You bastard!”
“I’m no bastard!”
“Yes you are!”
“No I’m not!”
“No you’re not!” Bulma said.
“Bulma, for the last time, I am a bastard!” Vegeta looked confused by what he had just said for a moment, until he saw Bulmas smile.
“You did that on purpose!” he yelled at her.
“Of course I did, bastard!”
“Cut it out, Bulma. I’m not a bastard!”
“Say that to the poor fly you crushed!” Bulma yelled.
“Shut up!” Vegeta shouted.
“No, you shut up, bastard!”
“No, you are!”
“No, you are!” Bulma said.
“Bulma, can’t you see? We’re acting like children.”
“You’re the child here, Mr. Always Grumpy Fly-Crushing Bastard with No Self-Control and Spiky Hair!” Bulma said and stuck her tongue out of her mouth. “And you are still a bastard!”
“No I’m not!” Vegeta yelled hysterically. Bulma was making him go insane.
“Mr. Grumpy man!” Bulma shouted back and stuck out her tongue.
“I am not grumpy!!!”
“Yes you are!”
“Dammit! Bulma, now we’re doing it again!”
“Doing what?”
“Arguing!”
“Arguing is at least twice as good as training all day, Mr. Always Training and Never Doing Anything Else Grumpy Man!” she said. At this point Vegeta realised that if Bulma didn't stop, he would go insane. So he tried his last chance at getting rid of her: humiliating himself.
“Yes, I’m a bastard! A big one! Happy, Woman?”
“Not before you say that you’re a fly-crushing bastard.”
Vegeta sighed. “Fine... I’m a fly crushing bastard…”
“And ugly!” Bulma continued.
“Woman!” Vegeta cringed.
“Say it!” she ordered.
“I… I’m ugly…”
“An ugly fly-crushing bastard!”
“Bulma…” Vegeta whimpered.
“Now!” She was starting to smile. This was quite entertaining.
“All right! I’m an ugly fly-crushing bastard! Happy?”
“No, I need you to promise to work more in the house. You will have to cook and clean and dance and sing…” she teased.
“What the fuck has dancing and singing got to do with anything?!” Vegeta yelled.
“Laa-laa-laa-laa! I can't hear what you're saying, cuz I'm singing a song!” Bulma said and laughed.
"Cut it out!" Vegeta said.
"Only if you'll dance! And I'd better see some salsa!" Bulma demanded.
"I will never do such a silly thing!" Vegeta yelled. "I am the prince of all Saiyans!"
"You know what?" Bulma said thoughtful. "If you changed the word 'prince' out with 'pants', then you would be the pants of all Saiyans!!!"
"Don't make fun of me!" Vegeta shouted. "You just think you can distract me, but I am NEVER going to dance and sing!!!"
"I can force you to..." Bulma tried.
"Do your worst! You're not my mother, and I won't do anything for you."
"REPEAT THAT AGAIN PLEASE, YOUNG MAN!!!" Bulma said threatening. Vegeta turned pale. "YOU WON'T REPEAT THAT SENTENCE AGAIN. UNDERSTOOD?!"
"Yes mom... I mean, ma'am..." Vegeta whispered blushing. Bulma could hardly hear it, but that was probably because he was so scared. She was getting tired of bothering Vegeta, and so she decided to let him alone.
"Good!" she said. Then she walked out of the Gravity Room to bother someone else and closed the door. Even halfway down the hall, Vegeta could still hear her voice laughing at him.
"And the GR was supposed to be soundproof, yeah right..." Vegeta mumbled to himself. "Stupid Woman..."
He wondered if killing the bug was the trouble worth it. He had killed it so he wouldn't be humiliated. But then Bulma had showed up, and he had humiliated himself. Should he even have killed the bug from the start? Was it worth it?
Yeah, sure it was worth it. To hear the little pests body being crushed under his boot.
Vegeta smiled at the thought of the cadaver. Black and smashed. He glanced down at the floor, wanting to see the little dead body…
But the fly was gone!
Chapter Three
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